Breaking Up with Bad Clients: It’s Not You…It’s Me.
As any type of company or consultant, the WRONG clients can destroy your success. It is often very tempting to keep clients, since the money seems nice, but when you drill down to the nitty gritty, they are often not very profitable at best, and a complete resource drain that can damage your pocket book and your quality of life at worst. Beyond strictly fiscal drains, a bad client raises your stress levels, and makes life much more difficult all the way around. In just about any company, the pareto principle applies to bad clients. 20% of clients create 80% of the problems. Breaking it off with a client can be a scary experience, but those that practice "culling the client heard" can attest to just how important it is. If you continue to take on clients that are not great, you will end up in a vicious cycle of doing work you don’t like for people you don’t like. Don’t think twice - break up with them. Here’s some tips for breaking up with the wrong types of clients whether you do design, development, marketing, or ANY type of service based occupation as a consultant or company.
- It’s not you it’s me. We just grew apart
The goals of our company aren’t really progressing in the same direction, and I can’t continue to help you anymore.
- I think we should see other people
You would be better served by another company.
- I need some space
I really can’t continue to work with you due to my current workload.
- Can’t we just be friends?
I’d rather just answer your occasional question (via email) than charge you money, and be obligated to speak with you (by phone).
- We aren’t right for each other
My core competencies just don’t jive with your strategic vision
Internet marketing/ web development specific:
- You have changed. I don’t know if you are relevant to me anymore*
- It’s not you, it’s your data.*
- Let’s just be linking partners*
- You know I am afraid of commitment which is why I only do PPC. You are more SEO*
- The thrill is gone. Your time on site is just average.*
- We never even convert anymore.
- We want different rankings.
- Our information architecture is just too different
- Here are your website files.
- I think it’s time you changed your ftp information
- I think that maybe you need a designer with a little more technical knowledge than I can give. You know, someone who has more of the traits you’re looking for. **
- Would you like your contract mailed back to you in one piece or shredded into pieces?***
- You’re website is just ranking a little too fast for me.
- You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me…I’ve just lost interest in the web.
- I couldn’t ask you to trust me again after another Florida update, it wouldn’t be fair.
- Your links just aren’t organic enough for my tastes.
- Your site just isn’t a priority to you anymore. I really need someone who can fulfill my recommendations.
- If our relationship was a redirect, it would be 410
- You’re just not keeping your code up anymore. Do you even CARE what it looks like?
- I can continue to charge you if you’d like, but I can’t do your work.
- "I’m sorry, but I think I have decided on a new text link advertisement service."
"What, do you not find our link offerings as attractive anymore?"
"No, of course not, it’s just, well, I met this other company and, well, they have links with higher pagerank that aren’t as obviously paid"
"Well, can’t we see what we can work out?"
"I’m sorry, I have to explore this new company and see what happens, to know whats best for me and my site"***
*Courtesy of Andres Galdames of Clicktracks - who sparked the idea for this post
**Courtesy of Reese of DesignbyReese.com
***Courtesy of SugarRae
You might also try some variations of the geek breakup list - I would be particularly fond of variations including:
- You have been unsubscribed from our client list - click here to confirm
- You’re a frontpage person, and you know I’ve always been about Dreamweaver. It’s not going to work out.
- I need a client who understands that 20 hours a day on the Internet is normal.
- Let’s face it - you agree with Dave Pasternack, and I think it is a marketing school of thought.
Whatever you do - don’t pawn bad clients off on friends, unless you don’t really like your friends either. Don’t waste your life in misery - break up with those bad clients. By ditching the crappy clients, you end up with clients you really ENJOY working with.
More resources on why you should fire bad clients:
- Clues you should fire your client
- Blowhard and bad clients - Aaron Wall
- Top 5 ways agencies and clients piss each other off - Lee Odden
- Warning signs of a bad client - webmasterworld
- Stop procrastinating - fire bad clients - Tom Kane
- Should I fire my client reportcard - Forbes
- Customer responsibility - Seth Godin
- 11 types of clients you should fire right now - Eric Wise
- When clients (and bosses) go bad - Kathy Sierra
What types of breakup lines have you used (or think would be pretty funny if you DID use them)?
16 Comments Leave a comment »
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Rob A.
March 20th, 2007,
12:33 pm
Wow that’s great I just wish some bosses would see it that way too.
If you’ve ever dealt with [name removed] over at IAC search and media you would know about a bad client.
P.S. from someone at my old company about this client:
I think she’s also a contract employee for the Devil.
*owner’s note - edited out name - don’t want to personally offend folks.
tacimala
March 20th, 2007,
2:16 pm
I had an absolutely horrible client once. As soon as that site was done I rethought my entire business at the time and redid all of my contracts with what I dubbed the “BW Clause” (her initials) to try to help alleviate something like that happening again in the future. Man just typing this out right now is bringing back all the painstaking memories.
Brandon Hopkins
March 20th, 2007,
2:33 pm
I just had to break it off with my first client. It was hard, for him. I tried to be nice, but had to put my foot down. Can I send him your way? He’ll need the moon and will be glad to pay you $3/hr.
Search Engine Land: News About Search Engines & Search Marketing
March 20th, 2007,
4:42 pm
SearchCap: The Day In Search, March 20, 2007…
Below is what happened in search today, as reported on Search Engine Land and from other places across the web:……
randfish
March 20th, 2007,
11:50 pm
Todd - I have a few contracts right now that I’m just desperate to be done with; good advice there… If only I can take it in the long run.
Reese
March 21st, 2007,
3:09 am
By the way, I have used, with just a couple of bad eggs, something along the lines of: “I view the client/designer relationship as a symbiotic one. This means I expect my clients to be as focused on their project as I am, but your business goals and dedication to this project is unfocused, and this will likely result in an unsuccessful, frustrating end game for both of us, so it is best that we part ways before we continue to waste each other’s time.”
I also am reminded of something Rae Hoffman told me on the phone–something to the affect of letting clients know that as much as they are interviewing me, I am interviewing them. Many inquiries that come our way are not aware of the numerous ‘red flags’ their communications raise. I’ve learned, through instinct and experience, what ones are highly likely to be difficult clients based on their initial communications, and I politely decline working with them.
Kirby
March 21st, 2007,
6:51 pm
It’s called addition by subtraction.
tmoney
March 22nd, 2007,
8:08 am
lol, very funny you blogged about this! Have a client at the moment who I have been thinking about applying the above techniques to… she never accepts the quoted price and always wants a bargin or discount… and constantly tries to drain seo info out of me for free rather than accepting on of my seo packages.. similar to a leech…
I think I will use this one ->
“Would you like your contract mailed back to you in one piece or shredded into pieces?”
lol.
Onur Buyukceran
March 22nd, 2007,
8:17 pm
Ha ha
It was fun to read, thnx for the tips. My strategy about client is serving them the best. We do still have our passion to do great jobs 
Consulting is for the Birds | EnviSEO, SEO Blog
March 23rd, 2007,
10:14 am
[…] Providing consulting services for a myriad of clients has many drawbacks (not just the financial ones). I read tons of horror stories about bad client relationships, clients that won’t make the jump to take advantage of opportunities in their industry, clients that won’t spend money, clients that won’t leave you alone. It seems like working on other people’s campaigns makes little sense - if you’re making them money, you only get part of it. They get the rest. Yeah, you can charge $200/hr to do work that is really easy and show them results, but what is that really doing? […]
realtimepr.info » Consulting is for the SEO Birds
March 23rd, 2007,
3:24 pm
[…] Providing consulting services for a myriad of clients has many drawbacks (not just the financial ones). I read tons of horror stories about bad client relationships, clients that won’t make the jump to take advantage of opportunities in their industry, clients that won’t spend money, clients that won’t leave you alone. It seems like working on other people’s campaigns makes little sense - if you’re making them money, you only get part of it. They get the rest. Yeah, you can charge $200/hr to do work that is really easy and show them results, but what is that really doing? […]
Matt Stoddart
March 23rd, 2007,
6:47 pm
HAA!! Great post, Todd. All business is not good business, that’s for sure…
Industry Outsider » Breaking up is hard to do
March 30th, 2007,
3:45 pm
[…] Today, I told my boss I have decided to leave the company. I’ll most likely hand in my notice next week. It was a perfectly pleasant conversation. I said that my personal projects are beginning to be more demanding and full time work is no longer a viable option for me, unless I’m willing to spend yet another summer working 7 day weeks, which is not an experience I’d care to repeat after last time. I was sort of smirking to myself in my head remembering the recent Stuntdubl post about breaking up with bad clients. I didn’t mention the fact that this decision was a process, that came about after my growing dissatisfaction of the direction the company has been going (i.e. from independently owned startup to corporate-owned “standard” company) drove me to go and interview at an agency and that it was only then, when I was offered the options of several interviews for jobs that were much better than mine that I decided I didn’t really want a full time job at all right now. […]
Poor SEM » Blog Archive » How To Get A Boatload of Money From a Business That Says They Have None
April 20th, 2007,
2:03 pm
[…] Also, you should realize here that some of these business owners just don’t have the time or money to invest right away. But they may still keep you in the back of their mind, so don’t be rude. Let them down easy and you may reap the benefits months down the road. […]
Matt Keegan
April 30th, 2007,
1:38 pm
Sound advice! I got a laugh from some of the geek answers — “here are your website files” is one of the best and most direct!
Make Money Online with Brandon Hopkins » How To: Trackback For Traffic
November 24th, 2007,
9:11 pm
[…] In the same way, when you agree, post a trackback that creates continued interest in the conversation. For example, “I agree with what Malicoat says about breaking up with clients. I just broke up with my first client and would add to Malicoat’s list by saying, ‘This will be my last bit of contact with you. I wish you well.’ That tells your client that it is over permanently and he can no longer expect a response from you.” By the way, that’s true, I just did that last week. […]
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